On Day 2 of my habit formation exercise, I’m going to write about my concept of working and my choice of work for the future.
It was the dawn of the present millennium and I had just celebrated the cross-over with spectacular fireworks and thousands of people in front of The Big Ben and The Houses of Parliament in London. I shall remember all of these for the rest of my life: the awe of the collective enthusiasm in response to the colourful splash of artificial stars in the sky combined with the momentum of starting a new year, decade, century, let alone millennium!; my inner anticipation of a good life ahead – somehow I knew it couldn’t be otherwise and it made me feel warm inside; my hopeless mental struggling for a good resolution for the grand moment, which I had to leave for later, to mull over and come up with something worthwhile of my new ME, sporting a new name, proud of a new business and certain of a bright future. Equally I shan’t forget walking down Victoria Avenue in the midst of the crowds, all of us bearing with some purifying drops of rain that started to fall upon us peacefully.
I was alone - my then boyfriend chose to celebrate with some friends of his who were just a tad reluctant to accept me in their circles. However, in a way I didn’t feel lonely – I was with all these people and we’ve just seen the most spectacular beginning of an era that I could ever imagine. There was still, this inner lurking of a wish to share it with my partner, but that was futile. Instead, I started to wreck my brains for a good New Year resolution, as one does on occasions like this – an activity that continued, in parallel with my taking that night bus that got me home safely within the hour, witnessing other people without a party making their own way home, just like me, getting into an empty house whilst everybody else was still busy celebrating elsewhere and getting into bed, eyes open and mind still working.
I can’t quite remember when it was that a dignified resolution crystallised in my head, but I was glad I wrote it down for future reference. The paper got lost during so many moves in the following 13 years and a half; its themes though resonated in my heart and in my brain not just on a few occasions during this time.
It was a triple-wish resolution. I wished for:
I’m bringing this episode up now, specifically for the work element of my Millennium Resolution. I’ve done lots of work since I first thought of this, but only recently I started to feel that I’m approaching my goal in this aspect. It became more and more defined during the years and now I do know that it is writing that I wish to do, with love for it entirely and, it wasn’t easy, but I managed to create the auspicious circumstances allowing for my wish to finally manifest. With a little bit of help from my inner discipline master I may be able to celebrate this victory again, in style and with a loving partner who’s delighted to be my soulmate.